Some one asked me for advice because his friends keep telling him that he ought to hire a masseuse that provides happy endings, but he can't find one. He wanted to know if I could please tell him how he can make sure he is going to get his penis rubbed, if he makes an appointment to get a massage, as therapists keep hanging up on him when he asks.
This is what I told him-
"As absurd as it may seem, having sexual contact with the
intention of sexual arousal or sexual gratification in exchange for money, is
illegal.
What two people do in private, however, once they have
gotten to know each other, is a matter of personal choice. You and your masseuse can have sex, if you want, as long as it occurs after the massage is over, and there is no additional charge for it. But asking a perfect stranger to provide sexual services over the telephone is
not only rude, insensitive, and illegal, it is stupid. And nobody wants
to massage stupid people.
My advice is that you become willing
to invest in a massage, or two, or three, and get to know the therapists
professionally. Who knows? One of them might like you and enjoy serving your needs. But if you
continue seeking what you are looking for in the manner that you are
going about it, you are more likely to get arrested, than what you want.
If
I were looking for an open-minded massage therapist, I would consider the
price, how long she has been in business, whether or not she
requires draping, as well as whether she works out of her home, or an office.
Another way to increase your odds of picking a masseuse who enjoys
going above and beyond the call of duty, is to join a website
that allows customers to post reviews of massage service providers. Then you can talk to members behind closed doors and find out who they recommend. But don't ever forget that your
mileage may vary.
Massage therapists are human beings with
individual tastes and preferences. They are NOT the slaves of their
potential clients sexual needs. It is impossible to know, without
meeting someone in person, and getting to know them, whether or not it
would be comfortable proceeding to something more intimate than a
massage.
If you want a massage therapist to promise that she will
provide sexual contact without meeting you, how can she be sure you won't show up filthy? People who ask perfect strangers to break the law over the telephone are much more likely to do that, you know. And how can she be sure that you won't have sores, or warts on your penis? Or that you don't have a horrible contagious crotch rash?
Would you send money in advance to secure an appointment with somebody who promised to
provide you with sexual gratification? What if she was sick and filthy when she opened
the door? What if her house smelled horrible? Would you go in and collect your
pre-paid
sexual gratification anyway? I think not. So why are you looking for somebody who will indiscriminately promise to do something illegal with strangers who call on the telephone? Is that the kind of person you really want massaging your penis? I hope not.
I encourage you to rearrange your priorities and have more reasonable
expectations. You are being indiscrete. You are making an illegal
request. People who make such requests are either police officers
looking to arrest someone, or simply ignorant people so desperate for sexual contact they will take stupid
risks. People who repeatedly take stupid risks eventually get arrested. And
sometimes the cops offer to drop the charges on stupid people who get themselves busted, if they will work under cover and snitch out prostitutes. Does that sound like fun to you? If so, you are a dangerous person, and nobody wants to massage dangerous people.
If you can find somebody who is willing to promise sexual contact if you buy a massage, it will most likely be an undercover cop pretending to be a masseuse, and you will get arrested. My
recommendation is that you stop seeking guarantees and start trusting
in your ability to make friends and influence people. Embrace the mystery. Would it really be so
terribly bad to recieve a few massages without any happy endings in
order to find somebody who likes your energy, enjoys your company, and
feels inspired to serve you in such a manner?
When you make illegal
requests of perfect strangers over the telephone, you are conveying a disturbing sense of neediness and hunger, and you are unlikely to
find anyone who is willing to serve you. Massage therapists are educated
professionals. They expect to be treated with respect. Asking them
to break the law is not only indiscrete and risky, it is disrespectful. Massage therapists
offer a legitimate service. It is not prostitution.
If your
sexual need is so intense that the promise of prostitution is the only thing that will
do, then go to an impoverished business district and look around for young women dressed up in skimpy outfits standing
on the street corners, with unemployed men watching out
for them. They will make you a deal. Their pimps will beat them up if
they don't.
You are much more likely to find what you are looking for, if you don't ask. The same is true when shopping for escorts. There simply aren't any guarantees. And until society chooses to
decriminalize the exchange of sexual contact for money, there won't be
any. I wish you luck finding what you are looking for."
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